I got back to the UAE last night from a 10 day trip to Pakistan. I had actually gone for 2 weddings and was sick most of the trip, was busy throughout and didnt get much time for myself as I usually do when I'm in Pakistan. Every trip I take to Pakistan brings up mixed feelings the likes of which one seldom sees, Its like loving something so much that it hurts and still you cant do anything about it. 1/3 of my life I have lived away from Pakistan and the 2/3 that I lived in Pakistan I saw so much that it is ingrained in me. What hurts is the state of affairs, the way people behave or have started to behave, the things taking place that I never noticed before, its like the country and the people are going down the drain. On the other hand you do see some improvement but its negligeble.
Every trip to Pakistan is bitter-sweet, I feel that I have changed so much that I don't think I would ever be able to live in the Pakistani society permenantly ever even if I wanted to. One hopes that things improve that people start making a difference, Pakistani people are rich beyond measure but they'd rather put that money on expensive cars and throwing Parties that would put a Frat house to shame. The weddings are so extravagant that you could feed a village for a month with the amount of money spent on them. And yet the same people spending so much money on worldly things will claim that they are not comfortable and want to make a difference but they need to get settled. When does one get settled in life? When is the right time to give back something, to help someone if you can, if we keep with the same mentality we will never break free of our life, of our work and will never do anything and the day will come when we will be dying and thinking if we did anything other then making money or trying to get settled.