Monday, November 06, 2006

Back Home

I got back to the UAE last night from a 10 day trip to Pakistan. I had actually gone for 2 weddings and was sick most of the trip, was busy throughout and didnt get much time for myself as I usually do when I'm in Pakistan. Every trip I take to Pakistan brings up mixed feelings the likes of which one seldom sees, Its like loving something so much that it hurts and still you cant do anything about it. 1/3 of my life I have lived away from Pakistan and the 2/3 that I lived in Pakistan I saw so much that it is ingrained in me. What hurts is the state of affairs, the way people behave or have started to behave, the things taking place that I never noticed before, its like the country and the people are going down the drain. On the other hand you do see some improvement but its negligeble.

Every trip to Pakistan is bitter-sweet, I feel that I have changed so much that I don't think I would ever be able to live in the Pakistani society permenantly ever even if I wanted to. One hopes that things improve that people start making a difference, Pakistani people are rich beyond measure but they'd rather put that money on expensive cars and throwing Parties that would put a Frat house to shame. The weddings are so extravagant that you could feed a village for a month with the amount of money spent on them. And yet the same people spending so much money on worldly things will claim that they are not comfortable and want to make a difference but they need to get settled. When does one get settled in life? When is the right time to give back something, to help someone if you can, if we keep with the same mentality we will never break free of our life, of our work and will never do anything and the day will come when we will be dying and thinking if we did anything other then making money or trying to get settled.

9 comments:

Shaykhspeara Sha'ira said...

Welcome back, me too just got back. The time is never "right" because we always put it off. The only time we will realy care is when we are the ones affected. Still on emust hope that there are people out there, starting from ourselves, who even so, will try make a difference,

Anonymous said...

i suppose we can think like this because we have been out of that society for some time and things are much more magnified. when i see people indulging in the same sort of extravagance here (UAE) i dont understand why they are doing it. why do ppl think feeding 2000 ppl at a wedding will make them somebodys in their social circle? what is the sense of a social circle who will not once come to your aid once something bad happens to you but those duas they get from ppl who they help, even in a way insignificant to them, will.

Destitute Rebel said...

@SS, thanks its strange how we put off a lot of stuff untill we are effected ourselves how very true.

@Friendly Lion - Exactly what I mean.

Anonymous said...

I get what u are trying to say. Somehow hypocrisy has become a norm and is now widely accepted so much that ow people are completely oblivious to it. My sister fels the same way that she no longer will be able to fit in the pakistani society, and i feel the same way sometimesbut the i look at where i live. It is the same in the UAE and suddenly there is this ray of hope that maybe someday things will no longer be this shitty and some sort of happiness or a sense of fulfilment will be felt by the people back home and maybe we will no longer be outcasts any more.

I will be going back to Karachi after 9 years for the eid and so will see for myself is it realy this shitty there??

It cant be!! at least i hope not...

Destitute Rebel said...

@Karachi Dude, We all wish for things to improve and inshallah they will, hope you have a good time and see some positive change in Pakistan during your visit.

kaya said...

Feel SORRIEST for me. Sis-in-law ki shaadi ki date has been fixed.
guess WHO is footing the WHOLE bill.
Makes u want to throw up.

Anonymous said...

hey thanks for linking me here! Man, i don't even know where to start with pakistan. You are right about the bittersweet feeling. I LOVED pakistan, and when i mean loved, i mean LOVED it. I lived there for 6 years and moved back about 7 years back. Uptil 3 years ago i used to visit 3 times a year. Roll along university time and my first trip back after starting uni was a shocker. Maybe i had grown up and realised what was happening around me....maybe the rate of decline around me really was that rapid, who knows. I feel sad saying that i no longer would want to take my kids (the ones i havent even had yet!) to pakistan for a few years like my parents took me. There seems to be so much crap going on there. None of my muslim friends over here get up to much, but alot of ppl over there are into some real nasty shit. I don't know. I feel depressed and im not even writing straight. So many things coming to a head at the moment. *sigh*

Destitute Rebel said...

Cheer Up Doctor Bongi, The situation is bad but all is not lost yet, Every night is followed by a day, bright as ever. Inshallah things will improve, I know exactly what you mean, I still love the country, I still go there 4-5 times a year, I still wanna help and try to make a difference, It just hurts to see the current state of affairs. Hopefully your trip to pakistan will be better.

Anonymous said...

I enjoyed reading all the aikido positive story teachings traditional true information on your site. You can check out my aikido positive story teachings traditional true site if you like.